


The Price You Paid

by PokeChan



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Angst and Porn, Consensual Rough Sex, Face-Fucking, Light Masochism, M/M, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, i was upset so now my OTP is too, post-Tokyo, sad and mean and consensual, vampire!Fai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:26:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5102903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokeChan/pseuds/PokeChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It was nothing like it was before, where there used to be love and passion there was only anger and desperation. Kurogane’s heart told him it was wrong. This wasn’t how this sort of thing was supposed to go at all, all rage and roughness, more like a fight than love making, but he wasn’t strong enough to lose this.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Price You Paid

**Author's Note:**

> Look I just wanted angsty face fucking okay? I have nothing to say for myself. Enjoy.

“You still want me, Kurogane?” Fai asked, his voice little more than a hiss in the silence between them as he stalked closer to Kurogane, his eye a dangerous, glowing gold. “Even after what you’ve done to me? What you’ve turned me in to?”

Kurogane didn’t break eye contact as Fai moved. He felt pinned, rooted in place, blocking the door as if Fai would attempt to make a dash for it and escape him. “Don’t know what part of me saving your life said that I no longer wanted you.”

Fai was close now, no longer across the room. He was in Kurogane’s space, close enough to touch, close enough that Kurogane could feel the heat of his body and the way his breath ghosted over the exposed skin of Kurogane’s neck and collarbone. 

His lip curled up in a snarl. “You made a monster out of me,” Fai said and every word was heavy with accusation and as sharp as the single cat-like eye that considered him. 

“If you’re really a monster, you were one well before the blood,” Kurogane said. Because he knew what made a monster (knew what it felt like to _be_ a monster) and it was not flesh and bone and the blood in your veins. 

Still, he had known that Fai might hate him for doing this to him, might see himself as some monster or beast. He expected a fight, anger, maybe even tears, and really, in hindsight, it was a testament to how little he really understood Fai when he’d felt the sickening shock at the sound of his own name. Of all the outcomes he’d predicted for his decision, this had not been one of them. He should have known Fai’s anger would burn cold, creep through him like a frost until everything between them had been iced over and not even the warmth of Kurogane’s blood on Fai’s lips could begin to thaw them.

“I suppose you would know quite a bit about monsters, Kurogane,” Fai said and Kurogane could tell he’d unknowingly struck a nerve. And Fai was about to strike one back. “After all, you were enough of one that your princess had to send you away.”

He didn’t argue. It was the truth, what Fai said, but it still stung and Kurogane had to control himself and school his features into something more neutral. Losing his temper with Fai was probably the worst thing he could do right now.

His lack of response prompted Fai to continue speaking, biting, burning ice in his tone. “Spent so long taking life that, what, you think by saving me it’ll start to make up for it? You’ve done a poor job of taking a first step, I can assure you that much.” Fai took another step towards Kurogane, the meager space between them shrinking in the single movement to almost nothing. 

Kurogane had told Fai about the type of man he’d been, about the blood staining his hands. Fai had listened in silence, his eyes ( _both_ eyes, blue and beautiful) soft and understanding, while Kurogane spoke. Fai hadn’t ever offered much of anything in return, and though Kurogane wished he would have, he’d always let it go. He’d told himself Fai would open in time, and he very well might have if Kurogane hadn’t slammed that door shut and chained it closed to boot.

Everything Kurogane had shared with him was being tossed back in his face now.

“Nothing to say, Kurogane?” Fai asked, looking up at him, pale hair falling almost artfully across his face. Kurogane had caught him just as Fai had been getting ready for bed. His hair was loose, longer than before, and fell (attractively, beautifully, _enticingly_ ) to his shoulders. “You’re just going to stand there and listen to me? It’s the truth, yes, but I would have thought you’d have _something_ to say.”

Quicker than Fai could blink Kurogane grabbed a fistful of Fai’s shirt and yanked him closer. Pulled him up so that Fai was forced to stand on the balls of his feet. “Talk all you want,” Kurogane said and his voice was tight and low. “You’re not saying anything I don’t already know. If you want to hear me say I regret paying this price for your life I won’t. I offered by blood to keep you alive because I wanted to, because I needed you here, because _we_ need you here.”

It was low to bring the children into this, but tonight it seemed like they weren’t playing fair.

“You paid for a lot more than my life,” Fai spat back. “There are consequences for your actions and that’s not going to change. Are you still willing to deal with them? This fallout you’ve created?”

“ _Yes_. I will take all of your scorn and anger and bitterness. I’ll weather it,” Kurogane growled, inching his face closer to Fai’s, as if being closer would get the message through to him any better. “This is also part of the price I paid to keep you alive, I know that. I was willing to do this when I spilled my blood into your mouth and I’m willing now.”

Fai grabbed Kurogane shirt, the beginnings of claws tore the fabric in his hands, and pushed him back, knocking him roughly against the wall, forcing Kurogane’s hand to fall from where it had held onto Fai. “For a man so seeped in blood and violence you sure can be naive.” 

Fai was on Kurogane before he’d even been able to push himself off the wall he’d been slammed into. One of Fai’s hands was in his hair, grip tight and sparking pain over Kurogane’s scalp, and the other was back to grabbing his now tattered shirt, ripping it more. When their mouths met there were fangs, sharp teeth nipping at his lip and a cruel tongue licking away the beading drops of blood. Fai pressed himself up against Kurogane, pinning him bodily to the wall, grinding their hips together.

“I never would have pegged you for a masochist before,” Fai murmured against Kurogane’s lips when Kurogane moaned into the kiss, already plenty hard where his groin was pressed against Fai’s hip. “You’ve never been so ready so quickly before, though, as when I’m rough. It’s hard to ignore evidence.”

That wasn’t the word Kurogane would use. He never shied from pain, preferring his pleasure with a bit of bite, but it was Fai’s strength, the open and easy display of it as he was shoved and pinned and held in place, that had Kurogane’s blood rushing and heating so quickly. Fai was a fighter, he was powerful before the blood and he was powerful now and Kurogane ached to see it, even as tainted by anger as it was now. Not that he was about to correct Fai’s assumption. He didn’t know what held his tongue, but something kept him from trying to change Fai’s idea about him.

Maybe there was a bit more truth to it than he thought.

Instead of arguing the point Kurogane arched, his back and hips pressing harder into Fai, the friction not near enough to bring him any further, but plenty to send currents of fire through him. Fai’s mouth moved from his lips to his neck. He felt fangs pierce his skin, a warm, wet tongue lap at the blood that oozed from the small wounds. Fai would drink properly when they were done. Kurogane suspected he preferred the taste of him after sex. 

Suddenly, Kurogane was being pulled away from the wall, back towards the bed. He followed Fai, obeying the silent command of those clawed hands. “I’m going to take you,” Fai told him and not a single thing in Kurogane wanted to deny him. 

The back of Fai’s knees hit the bed and his hands dropped to Kurogane’s belt, nimble fingers undoing buckles and buttons without trouble, while Kurogane’s hands buried themselves in Fai’s hair, pulling him back in for a bruising kiss that was more teeth than anything. When scarred fingers wrapped around hard, heated flesh Kurogane broke the kiss with a moan. His head fell to Fai’s shoulder as he panted while Fai worked him, rough and quick. 

Fai’s lips were at Kurogane’s ear, tongue flicking out to lick him. “I want to take your mouth. Get on your knees.”

Kurogane bit at Fai’s neck, sucked a dark bruise to the pale skin before doing as he was told. Fai’s hands threaded through his hair while Kurogane pulled Fai’s pants open. He hissed and rolled his hips forward when Kurogane pulled him free, the cool air of the room a stark contrast to the warmth trapped between their bodies. Kurogane’s hands settled on Fai’s thin hips and he waited.

This was not the first time this had happened between them, it would not be the last. Fai would use him, Kurogane would let him. It was nothing like it was before, where there used to be love and passion there was only anger and desperation. Kurogane’s heart told him it was wrong. This wasn’t how this sort of thing was supposed to go at all, all rage and roughness, more like a fight than love making, but he wasn’t strong enough to lose this. This violent, bitter coupling between them was the only closeness he was afforded. 

Some nights were better than others, some nights he could close his eyes and it was almost like it was before, with Fai tired and sated in his arms. There were nights where he could have easily lied to himself if that were the type of man he was.

Tonight was not going to be one of those nights. Tonight was a night to fuck and be fucked because they needed it. Because it was the only connection they had to use that would keep them stuck in this stubborn stalemate. Because Fai hated Kurogane and hated what Kurogane had done and because Fai loved him. And Kurogane loved him, too. 

So when Fai order him to open his mouth Kurogane did. 

Fai filled his mouth in one quick, smooth thrust. Kurogane did not move. He let Fai fuck his mouth, focused on keeping his teeth away and not gagging (though that had never been and still was not a problem). His hands on Fai’s hips impeded Fai in no way. They were there for him to stop Fai if he needed. If he stilled Fai’s hips he would not meet with a fight and Fai would stop. Kurogane knew this. He had tested it.

There was no gentleness in Fai’s movements. It was take, take, _take_ and Kurogane gave. His hair being pulled, his mouth and throat being used, the illusion of being helpless to stop Fai (and in a way he was helpless, helpless to deny Fai, helpless to deny himself) had him hard and wanting. He needed something, anything, to alleviate the familiar pressure of arousal. He needed to be touched, needed friction and some sort of release.

His grip tightened on Fai’s hips and he pushed him away, out of his mouth, and with a hand on his chest, down onto the bed. He crowded Fai back further up the bed, crawled over him and claimed his mouth in a rough kiss, bit a quick, messy trail down Fai’s neck, rucked up his shirt and licked and sucked a path down his chest. He was sloppy, only paused long enough to redden pale skin as he worked further down. He did take his time to suck a dark bruise onto the skin of Fai’s hip. 

All the while Fai’s hands did not leave his hair, even as he squirmed and arched against Kurogane’s mouth. When Kurogane took Fai back into his mouth Fai wasted no time, thrusting back into it, snapping his hips and taking Kurogane’s mouth just like he had been. Only this time Kurogane could grind down into the mattress, find himself some small relief, until Fai’s hips began to stutter. 

“Touch yourself,” Fai growled. “Come.”

Kurogane did as he was told, unballing one fist from the sheets below them and working himself, let the jagged spikes of pain spur him on, drag him to the edge as quickly as his hand moved and Fai’s hips pushed. It was quick, inelegant, rough. It hurt and it was good and wrong and Kurogane wanted more. 

He came first, spilling into his hand and the sheets he was grinding against, back spasming and toes curling. He saw white and it was seconds at best before Fai was emptying himself down the back of Kurogane’s throat, holding him still and tight until he slumped against the bed and Kurogane was free to pull off with a gasp and a cough. His throat felt used and he knew if he tried to talk his voice would rasp horribly. He wondered if he’d imagine the ghosting of gentle fingers along his jaw or not.

The pause didn’t last long. Fai’s hands were back on him, grabbing his shoulders and manhandling Kurogane onto his back. Sharp teeth and hot lips were at Kurogane’s neck within the next second and it was all Kurogane could do as Fai drank. One of his hands, wet and messy still, took a fistful of Fai’s hair, a mockery of cradling his head as he felt the blood leaving him. 

When Fai was finished, feeding and fucking, he moved back, put that awful, careful space between them once again. He fixed himself silently and left, the door clicked closed behind him sounding louder than it had any right to. Kurogane sighed, used to this by now, being alone afterwards. He checked the wound Fai had left and found it to be hardly bleeding anymore. He stayed there, on Fai’s bed for a few moments more. 

He’d get up soon, wash and dress for bed himself. Fai would, at some point in the night, return to his bed and sleep and in the morning they would not talk about it. They would not touch each other again for days, maybe weeks, and Fai would feed from Kurogane’s wrist instead of his neck until the both of them broke again. It was a terrible pattern they’d fallen into and it needed to be stopped, but both of them were wounded and weak and even through the anger, lonely.

Something would give eventually and when it did Kurogane would pick up the pieces and fix what he could. If he could.


End file.
